What do you really want? A better paying job? A new flat screen TV? Will you be a happier person after you have it? Unfortunately, these are external desires that don’t fulfill the basic human need of feeling desired and loved. When your mate desires you, lusts after you they are paying you a compliment of a high emotional caliber. Yes, it is a high that no anti-depressant drug can come close to.

How many times have you witnessed your woman standing at the kitchen sink rinsing dishes or working at the counter chopping vegetables? If you can’t muster up the desire to help with food prep then at the very least spend some time observing her before walking up behind her to kiss the back of her neck while pressing your body close to hers.

For you women, when was the last time you let your man know that you desired him? A man can easily get turned on knowing you want him. You don’t have to have sex right away as it may not be an opportune time so let it be foreplay. Let the desire build until you can’t stand it anymore or when the kids go to sleep…whichever occurs first!

In our situation there’s just the two of us at home so we have nothing stopping us from throwing ourselves at each other but most times we prefer to be playful. We spend a lot of time outdoors, sipping wine on the patio, kissing, holding hands and touching each other, sometimes running our hands up and down each other’s thighs. We do this rather than watch TV because it’s more exciting to be together and talk rather than sit in front of a TV screen. Don’t have anything to talk about? Try whispering what you would like to do to each other once you actually get into bed.

Turn the TV off and turn yourselves on.

But what if you’ve lost that loving feeling? Can you get it back? That might depend on whether you burned for each other in the first place. Some marriages are of convenience and some have settled into a mundane routine before the couple even gets to the altar. If you were hot for each other in the beginning then chances are you can light that fire again. Book a motel room for the weekend, bring some alcohol to loosen up and spend most of the time in bed….cuddling, kissing, and making love. Listen to music but do not turn on the TV! If you can spend this much time together without outside distractions then you’ve got a shot at bringing desire back into your relationship. If you can’t get through the weekend without turning on the TV, or can’t seem to talk to each other then you’re probably done and it’s time to look for a new mate that is as passionate as you are.

The term “soul mate” has been overused but when you find someone that is like your twin, thinks the same way as you, blurts out what you were thinking before you get a chance to, then you’ve truly found a best friend and partner for life. This pairing has become a rare thing because people get so hung up on appearance and don’t bother to look under the hood and find out who the person is at their very core. Everyone wants to be in love because it’s such a rush but don’t take the time to really be open and honest with each other. It’s like building a house…start with a true and solid foundation and it will only get stronger as you add the layers and the details that make it your own.